From our Education correspondent 23/08/2006:
There is consternation in the academic world today, with the news that super-villain and multi-millionaire businessman Monty Bristow is to endow a Chair in Intelligent Design Biology at Oxbridge College (formerly Pudding Norton Polytechnic). Professor for promoting Public Confusion about the Sciencies at the University, Richard Doorhinge, declared:
"This is ridiculous, an abuse of the name scientist unequalled since I seduced three blonde biology students and claimed it was an experiment. Thse people should be driven from from the universities. Remember, it was these people who persecuted Gallileo."
Dr. Pinkie, speaking from behind bars at a secure physciatric unit described Intelliegent Design as: "Almost as insane as me!" He tried to say more, only the guards mistook it for an attempted escape and stunned him with tazers.
Mr. Bristow, alias 'The Disturber', asked to explain his actions laughed manically, declaring:
"The only purpose of the Disturber is to break the consensus, to tear apart the bonds of convention that hold society together! I will tear apart debate in the University! Hahahaha!"
Having said his piece, Monty Bristow left to open another of his projects, the first Atheist school in Britain.