Sunday, August 27, 2006

Sunday Supplement 2.

Today, The Vengeance of the Green Man brings you the second in our series on church services. This copy filed by Ms. L. Madison on her arrival in Buffalo:

The United Airlines Methodist Church, aircraft 'Meth537' flew this route overnight from Canberra, stopping several times for fuel, and to take on passengers. At 8:42 Pacific Standard time, the pastor and deacons retreat to pray and prepare for the service in business class. The result is that all passengers in business class (including the reporter) are woken up. Some straggle into economy class, while others try to sleep on. At quarter to ten local time, everyone is woken up, and handed hymbooks, as the service begins.

The service opened with 'Come let us join our friends above...' After which the Word of God was opened, the reading for the day being 'Jesus before Pilate'. This was follwed by 'Arise, my soul, arise'.

The prayers, delivered while the 'plane passed through turbulence, were particularly urgent. Specila prayers were offered for the towns over which we were passing.

The hymn 'Jesus who lived above the sky,' was sung with gusto, before the preaching of a sermon by Captain Lemuel Gulliver, former sailor and member of the seaman's mission to Lilliput. His there was 'Jesus the pilot of our souls', and nautical metaphors mixed freely with the aerial ones preferred by the denomination. At the end of the sermon, an invitation was given, and the Choir sang 'Come O thou traveller unknown'.

Futher prayers and exhortations followed until the church landed at Buffalo to the strains of 'Lo He comes with clouds descending.'

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Does the Green Man visit vengeance upon the wicked on Sundays, or does he cease from his mysterious acts of justice on the Lord's Day as well?

I like Ike!

The Girl in Grey said...

Just a thought, but does 'visiting vengeance on the wicked count as a work of mercy or necessity?

the girl in grey said...

Oh, and I took a United Airlines Methodist 'plane once. The trouble is they won't serve anything stronger than fruit juice in the bar.

The Green Man said...

The Green Man is with the Girl in Grey on this one.

Zack said...

Visiting vengeance upon the wicked is fine to do on Sunday, so long you don't disturb those who are using the day to worship and rest.

The Green Man said...

Unless those persons' deeds are evil. Then they will feel the vengeance of the Green Man

the girl in grey said...

Or of the Girl in Grey if they happen to do it in my church. Especially if they rest when they ought to be worshipping.

Zack said...

I always fall into deep meditation when the male preaches. Then I come back to earthly cares with a start when the female throws her chair at him and calls him a 'flaming liberal' and cites the Charter against him. Then he orders her to SIT DOWN WOMAN and does not suffer her to speak. So she sits down in a huff and her whole outline says 'sole member of the universal body'. And the male loses his moral courage in the face of it and winds up with a meek encouragement to the congregation to 'have a nice day'. Then I fall into deep meditation again. It's all very edifying and I only regret that the denomination has split and the female has rival services now across the living room.