Saturday, August 26, 2006

Nineteen: Doom of a Discomfiter part twelve

As O. Bucky Ackenbola struck out with his right bionic arm, the Green Man ducked. Bucky's arm made contact with a steel girder, shook, and dropped off. The assassin screamed at his lost arm, which replied:

"Look, mate, it wasn't me fixed me on, was it?" in a cockney accent.

O. Bucky replied that he wasn't to blame either, and while he was doing so, the Green Man sloshed him on the jaw, before smashing the loose bionic arm. O. Bucky tried to hit the Green Man again, only to impale a vast computer bank. The Deconvert screamed, as thousands of volts of electricity coursed through his body. The Green Man left, knowing that the smell of burning assassin clings to the clothing. He was glad, for the fortress exploded moments later.

The demise of O. Buck was announced on the Discomfiter's site by one of the Green Man's allies. The Discomfiter began to quake with feat, circling the wagons as the Green Man began to close in. He knew the days of his power were over.... In an attempt to disguise himself, the Discomfiter had a hapless Mexican Peasant surgically altered to resemble him, while he was given plastic surgery to make him appear a harmless old man.

Things went a bit wrong, however, and Raoul ended up looking like Ming the Merciless.


Zack said...

That takes care of the mystery of what happened to the gardener in Sylvie and Bruno. We knew he came back as a portmanteau. I'm surprised it didn't burst into 'he thought he saw'.

One day one of the kitchen handtowels caught on fire. No one thought anything of it except that it gave away a sinister fact the female had hoped to surprise us with: that she was cooking. It smalled of burning assassin for days. We determined that it had been a member of the Ku Klux Clan. The female hung it up and flogged it and then made a rag doll of it and held its head under water, then shot at it with her cap gun as it hung from the clothesline screaming at it to 'Dance!'

Zack said...

He thought he saw the piper Pan
Composing melody,
He looked again and saw it was
His mother's creaky knee:
"If this is how things go with her,
What will become of me?"

Zack said...

He thought he saw a vegetable upon the pantry shelf
He looked again and saw it was an atheistic elf.
"If things are to be done right," he said,
"I must do them myself!"

Zack said...

He thought he saw his neighbor's house
Descending from the sky;
He looked again and saw it was
The proverbial pie.
"I'd shoot it down at once!" he cried,
"If it were not so high!"

Sir Richard Arcos said...

Sadly, our gardeners keep giving notice. I must remember to get the wife to bury people at least three feet under. Two feet just isn't enough.

the girl in grey said...

She could dump them in a storm-drain with lead weights tied to their feet. I know someone who finds that is an acceptable substitute for burying them six feet deep. Or inside a brick-kiln or something.

The Green Man said...

Quicklime does wonders.

the girl in grey said...

But the Girl in Grey is very good at finding corpses if she wants to. Which isn't often, I have to say.