Monday, August 28, 2006

The Evil of Monty Bristow

Evil super-villain Monty Bristow yesterday switched the grape-juice in the communion cups of 700 Southern Baptist and Methodist churches for wine. Not just any old wine, mind, but the finest Port. Worse, he left behind evidence that this act was perpetrated by the Calvinist Millitants of the Founders' Movement. Only when one of the culprits was aprehended by the Green Man and tortured using poached eggs and old Fred Allen jokes was the true culprit unmasked.

In his insane quest for vengeance on all humanity, Monty Bristow, alias 'the Disturber' has struck at that most acrosanct of institutions, the Church. The world awaits with fear the next attack of the Disturber upon society. Where will Monty Bristow strike next, and can the Green Man stop him before the world is plunged into anarchy?

11 comments:

the girl in grey said...

I went to a church where they used port at communion once. Much better than that grape juice!

And I hope Bristow DOES strike near my city. That way I can have the pleasure of foiling his plan. With aluminium foil if possible. That might hold the Flying Spagetti Monster for a while, anyhow. As for Bristow, I'm working on that. And the FSM repellant, just in case.

'Acrosanct'. That's a new word on me.

The Green Man said...

It means it's sacred no matter which way you look at it.

Zack said...

I thought it was a sacred brand of communion wine.

Sir Richard Arcos said...

No, it comes from the same root as 'acrsotic', a sentence which spells a word. So 'acrosanct' means a sacred thing which points to something more sacred.

Sir Richard Arcos said...

Should be 'acrostic', but I was fighting off a mad killer at the time. And no, it wasn't the wife, before you ask...

the girl in grey said...

Learn a new thing every day! Hey, maybe 'acrsotic' has something to do with being drunk? It ought to.

Sir Richard Arcos said...

It means the act of being drunk in an acre of land. Just checked in my dictionary (the one I'm writing).

Green Man Fan said...

What makes the Green Man green? Does he wear a green trenchcoat? Is he envious? Is he sick to his stomach? Is he sea-sick? Is he a new, raw recruit to the world of executing vengeance upon the wicked?

This unresolved plot hole is making it difficult to obtain the desired suspension-of-belief --- please correct immediately!!

The Green Man said...

You will know today the answer.

the girl in grey said...

Does the Green Man wear a green mask? I have a grey one. With cat-ears and whiskers, just for fun. Ah, the things us girls can get away with...

The Green Man said...

All will be revealed very soon...