Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Trail of the Disturber Part Eight

As the assembled pilgrims and tourists gawped at the apparent Moses still floating just above the surface ou Mount Sinai, Ms. Madison's fertile brain was in overdrive. She had recognised 'Moses' as Monty Bristow, alias the Disturber, and so knew that evil was afoot.

As she thought, 'Moses' continued to give out his new commandements:

"God has spoken!" He announced portentously. "Behold, I give you ten commandments! The Sixt Commandment is that the United Nations is a conspiracy to create a one-world Government and must be destroyed!"

"See!" a pimply-faced youth at the rear of the group exclaimed, "told you so!"

Two of the more sober pilgrims grabbed him and hurled him off the mountain.

"The Seventh," 'Moses' went on, "is likewise, you shall steal your neighbour's car on the third of the month and fill it with haddock. Then you will return it at midnight."

"That's a silly commandment!" Ms. Madison spoke at last, stepping forward boldly.

"So you say," 'Moses' sneered, "but you're not Moses, and I am, nyaah!"

"Last time I looked," Ms. Madison replied spiritedly, "the 'M' in your name wasn't for Moses, Monty!"

"You scoff?" Bristow's eyes widened theatrically.

"Of course," Ms. Madison smiled. "And I'd mock, too, if you hadn't done such a childish job of mocking me earlier."

"Then the eighth commandement," Bristow thundered, is that all who mock my commandements will be eaten by the flying spaghetti monster!"

"That's made up," another pimply teen declared.

Those were the last words he said, as the monster floated out from underneath a rock and devoured him. Bristow laughed manically, as the monster floated towards him, its greasy tendrils waving.

"Behold!" he cackled, "the terror of the ages, the doom of all mankind! The creation of a thousand captive Italians! The Flying spaghetti monster! Atheists may have dreamed it up in mockery, but I, Monty Bristow, gave it form - and a taste for human flesh! Go, kill my pretty!" He laughed insanely, pointing in the direction of Ms. Madison.

The lovely blonde shrank back, as the monster approached. Drawing a little silver pistol from under her cloak, she discharged a whole magazine into the creature, but to no effect. She ran, only to stub her toe on an outcrop of rock.

Closer and closer crept the ghastly thing....


The Girl in Grey said...

Will the Green Man show up and deal with the awful thing? I hope so!
I'm on the edge of my (grey) chair!

Zack said...

Monty Bristow looks like Charleton Heston?

a local superhero said...

After all these years of fighting evil with burning hot salsa, you tell me that is a foot?

I shall have to get some banana peels.



green man fan (grey girl fan too) said...

Darn it, Zack stole my pithy punchline!! :-(

The Green Man said...

Bristow, being a master of disguise and a man of many faces, hired a 'Moses mask' from his local costume hire place. Needless to say, it looked like Charlton Heston, as no-one actually knows what Moses looked like, and the horns thing looked a bit extreme.