It won't turn up at the last minute, stinking of hops and reeling. It won't cry when it doesn't get the present it wants, and it won't make a pass at the boss's wife at the office party.
It won't walk up to the most gorgeous girl in the Office and begin chatting confidently to her before sobbing like a baby. It won't drunkenly fumble with that plump girl in the stationery cupboard until a load of papers falls on its head. It won't try to lean on the Christmas tree and knock it over.
No, old Mill beer will do none of these things:
It will make you do them.
Old Mill Beer: Brewed by the Bawdeswell Brewery Co. A Family Company