Sunday Supplement: Man Worshipping

Sir Richard Arcos here: Having recovered of my recent attack of Mexican bandits, I resolved to pay a visit to another church. The church in question was the Anglican Church of Great Twittering in the Mire, which comes just before the hamlet of Nether Wallop, ministered to by the Rev. Fred Jones, a radical proponent of the creation of woman Bishops. After the Church in Wales failed to approve the election of woman Bishops, he decided to deliver a sermon on this.

We were informed that this decision was 'inexplicable', and that he was 'ashamed' to be a member of a Communion in which women were denied equal rights. He told us that the decision not to ordain woman bishops made the Church in Wales 'look absurd in the eyes of the world'.

The reading set for the Liturgy was 1 Corinthians 1:18: 'For the preaching of the cross is to them that perish foolishness; but unto us which are saved it is the power of God.'

When the reverend gentleman read this he turned red and sought the alternative epistle reading. I had detailed my grandson to break into the vestry and substitute a new lectionary while the gent wasn't looking, so he found himself reading:

'Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.'

At this point the Reverend gentleman turned even redder, muttered something about a plot against him, and told us all that we had to get with the times or be left behind. After the service I asked him whether he had read Tim LaHaye. The court order banning me from the church arrived in the post this morning.