Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Murder to Order: Four

The office buzzed with conversation. It was an odd sight, everyone talking, but no-one talking to anybody else in the office, except perhaps in those rare instances where someone wanted to speak to a manager. Now some weeks in to the role, Ms. Madison still hated using a headset, as it messed up her hair.

"Hullo," she took another call, "this is Ultimate Solutions, I'm Lynette, your Pinnacle Murder Consultant. How can I help?"

"That's easy," a coarse male voice came down the 'phone, "gimme your 'phone number."

"You're already calling it." Ms. Madison tried to sound as icy as possible. "Now, can I help you?"

"Sure thing, baby." The man was not American, and his attempt to sound it failed to impress the capable blonde. "I'm callin' about your two for one offer on unwanted lovers."

"Let me guess," Ms. Madison shook her head. "Your wife's found out about your mistress. She wants a divorce, and you don't want your mistress either?"

"Not quite," he replied, "my mistress and my mother-in-law. It's a birthday present for my wife."

"I'll put you through to the hitman handling division," Ms. Madison hit a couple of transfer keys, after noting the man's details.

She hated the job, and she hated the hours even more. This week she would be working until nine o'clock, which meant that her social life would be practically non-existent. Her head hurt from the number of calls she had taken, and the act of having to pass them to the Green Man would take up even more of her time.

Still, she reflected, she was lucky. The man she had just dealt with would receive a visit from the Green Man, as would the hitman. And the hitman, who had to have several confirmed kills to his name, would not survive the encounter.

"Lynette!" he supervisor shouted across the office. "Come off the 'phone! The Boss wants a word with you!"
Ms. Madison rose and put the 'phone down. As she walked towards the door which led to the boss' pffice,her heart was pounding.

1 comment:

green man fan said...

I'd like to order a few murders on my enemies, please. Is there a discount when services are purchased in bulk?