When Green Meets Grey: Part Eight

The Girl in Grey looked down at the great city below, then down at her watch. She shook her head.

"You know," she declared, "I think my tummy's still somewhere over the Atlantic."

"Along with the villains, kmy dear," the Green Man replied, as he expertly manipulated the controls. "They'll have had to stop for fuel at least twice."

"While this thing flies so fast it wouldn't have been able to stop for a little thing like an island." The Girl in Grey shook her head in wonder. "I wonder what the illustration will be?"

"Knowing my agent," the Green Man chuckled, "the item in question will be something from the film Flying Down to Rio."

"Corny," the Girl in Grey sighed. "Can we land, or does this thing hover?"

"This thing hovers," the Green Man replied.

"Forget I asked." the Girl in Grey shook her head. "Where are we going?"

"Not to the city by the Sugarloaf," the Green Man let in the throttle. "Our goal is a little vacum cleaner factory up the Amazon. It supplies cleaners for export. And the machine from Carmarthen County Hall was made there less than three months ago. It was bought as part of a massive special offer the new owners of this factory offered all of Carmarthen."

"The plot thickens," the Girl in Grey smiled.

"Like day-old custard," the Green Man concurred, as he turned the supersonic jet towards the rainforest (which, our continuity supervisor reliably informs us, is what they call the jungle these days. Suffice it to say, the man in question was fired). "Now, even if this isn't the goal of the villains, we might be able to find where the killer household gadgets have gone."

When Green Meets Grey: Part Seven

The girl in Grey looked out at the Welsh countryside as it flashed by, then at the Green Man, who was bent over the wheel. Masked once more, she could not tell whether he was smiling (her mask had slipped a bit).
"A...about last night," she spoke at last.

"Last night was a nice time," the Green Man smiled. "The food was lovely, and so were you." But now the day has dawned, and we're back on the trail of the villains."

"And that's all there is to it?" the Girl in Grey looked disappointed.

"That," the Green Man sighed, "is not what I said. And no, I haven't received a call from Ms. Madison, before you ask." There was a note of banter in his voice. "It's that I received a new lead on this villain. The radar stations picked up the helicopter landing close to Barry. Apparently the vilains took a private jet from Cardiff Airport and are headed for South America."

"And what do we do?" the Girl in Grey smiled.

"Easily," the Green Man headed down towards the airport. "We get to Rio ahead of them."

"How?" the Girl in Grey looked alarmed. "If they took off first?"

"Ever flown at four times the speed of sound?" the Green Man laughed, drving through a staff gate onto the runway.

There, gleaming and beautiful, was a huge silvery jet, shaped like a rapier. The Green Man laughed again.

When Green Meets Grey: Part Six

The Girl in Grey adopted a fighting stance, despite the fact that she was facing an inanimate foe. She dodged its flew, which was fishing for her neck, landing a blow on the thing's plastic casing. Although the thing cracked, it had no discernable effect.

"I've got a little problem here!" she spoke into her wrist-watch radio. "Believe it or not, I'm being attacked by a pyschotic hoover!"

There was no reply. Before the Girl in Grey could complain, however, a skylight shattered, as the Green Man dropped through it. In his hand, he held a strangely-shaped gun. Fired at the vacum cleaner, it quickly reduced it to a lump of melted plastic.

"Microwave gun," the Green Man informed her. "It made quite a mess of Monty Bristow's monster on Mount Sinai. And it works on animated machines as well."

"How...?" the girl in Grey regarded the melted vacum cleaner incredulously.

"I'll tell you over supper," the Green Man told her.

"And where," the Girl in Grey asked, "are we going to eat?"

"Come with me and I'll show you," the Green Man held out a hand.

Moments later, the two crime-fighters were sat on a tartan rug by the lake of the National Botanic Garden of Wales, the scene illuminated by the moon and the great glasshouse. Champagne glasses touched, as they unpacked the picnic before them. The Girl in Grey wore her mask and cowl with a floaty gown, while the Green Man wore his usual costume.

"The blackmailer threatened that the population of Carmarthen would be killed," the Green Man confirmed. "But we didn't know how he meant to do it. Now we know that those people would have been killed by their own domestic appliances."

"No wonder they paid up," the Girl in Grey sighed.

"In one, my dear," the Green Man smiled. "And Carmarthenshire paid up. That must have enboldened the villains. And there's no guarantee that the next target 'll pay up."

"We have to stop them," the Girl in Grey looked annoyed.

"And that starts tomorrow, my dear." The Green man smiled down at the Girl in Grey. "After all, right now we haven't any clues to pursue."

"And I've got a better idea, anyhow," the Girl in Grey smiled, reaching for the chin of her cowl. Moments later, she had pulled off the mask and cowl, and was looking appealingly at her companion. "Can you guess what it is?" She openied her mouth slightly, still smiling cutely.

"Indeed, my dear," the Green Man removed his own mask. "But no comments about my face."

"Why speak?" the Girl in Grey leaned forward, yes closing. "I've always said that actions speak louder than..."

She did not complete the sentence, for at that moment the Green Man's lips met hers.

Ms. Madison proves she's never on holiday

Ms. Madison reports: A sweep of the blogosphere reveals some worrying news. Our first return of a super-villain. Monty Bristow, alias the Disturber, is back! He replied to a post of the Green Man's on Triablogue about the terror of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. In the course of his remarks, the super-villain, who has vowed revenge on all humanity, revealed that he not only survived falling off Mount Sinai, but has slave workers toiling in the kitchens of his secret lair to create an army of Flying Spaghetti Monsters. I tried to explain this to Mr. Rake, but he confiscated my handbag and told me on no account to try to leave the island or he'd have me arrested. So this little alert is addressed to all you Green Man fans out there. Keep an eye open for Monty Bristow, and watch out for anything made of pasta.

Still, I hear Bristow won't be ready to make a move for a couple of weeks, which is enough time to make up with Mr. Rake, or at least get back into the habit of using his first name and then correcting myself. But right now, I'm in the dog-house with Mr Rake. Apparently he thinks I'm not as fond of him as I should be. Which is irritating, as this was supposed to be a chance for met to recover from the wounds inflicted by the charming Ygraine (who is now doing several life sentences in a maximum-security gaol for super-villains and their henchmen (or women). But when Mr Rake and I are shouting at each other for most of the day, even on the beach, no-one's relaxing.

But enough with the complaints. The evil Monty Bristow lives. He escaped from Mount Sinai. And I was practising belly-dancing while he was getting away. I wouldn't be so cut up, but it turned out I was no great shakes as a belly-dancer. So that's one career option out of the way...

When Green Meets Grey: Part Five

Night had fallen over Carmarthen by the time the Girl in Grey slipped through an upper window, landing lightly on her feet. Inside, she spoke hurriedly into a small radio on her wrist.


"I'm in," she told the Green Man. "Tell me where to go."

"Wait a moment," the Green Man's voice dropped to a whisper. "I need to have another look at the plans." Paper rustled.

"You mean you don't have it on computer, like in the movies?" the Girl in Grey looked annoyed with things.

"Ms. Madison does the computers, my dear," the Green Man drawled urbanely. "I'm afraid you'll have to bear with the low tech. Move to the left."

The Girl in Grey did just that. She walked into a door.

"There's a door here," she told the Green Man, pulling open a fire door that had been added since Carmarthen County Hall was first built.
.
"Not on my plan there's not," the Green Man pointed out. "Third door on the right."

The Girl in Grey moved through the building with the grace and stealth of a cat, only flicking on her torch now and again to make sure the Green Man's plan was reliable. She had no desire to walk into another door. Then she saw the flash of a light through a security window in another firedoor. At once, she flattened herself against the wall, catching her breath. She got ready to thump the man in he noticed her. The torch beam did not catch her, however, and the man moved on. Safe again, the Girl in Grey moved forward, slipping through the door in question.

"There should be a safe in there somewhere," the Green Man declared.

"Or was in the 1950s," the Girl in Grey scowled, turning on her torch. "Where are we dining tonight?"

"That depends on what you find," the Green Man chuckled. "We could be speeding towards somewhere else if you get caught."

"I," the girl in Grey replied, "don't..." her voice trailed off, as she realised there was someone, or something in the room with her. Swinging her torch around, she saw it.

And it was a vacuum cleaner. Although not plugged into the wall, its flex and other parts were waving menacingly, as it moved towards her, cutting her off from the door. The Girl in Grey flattened herself against the wall, as the thing moved towards her, its lights glowing wickedly. She could not help screaming.

Delayed Sunday Supplement: Cat Baptism Revisited

Ms Madison writes: On arrival at Bermuda with Mike - Mr Rake - we had to change hotels. Someone had booked us into a double room, and I'm not that sort of girl. Oh, and Mike isn't either (in fact, he's no sort of girl. He's a man). So we had to take the only hotel with spare rooms, a dingy back-street place. We were separated. By two floors. So on Sunday we were too glad to get out of the smelly, dirty place and into the nearest church.

The church turned out to be a mission station of the Cat-Baptists (headquarters Pudding Norton), Norfolk. I recognised it at once from the scratched and pitted faces of the deacons who waited to greet us. One man had an eye-patch, while another had a few fingers missing. The large number of cat-boxes being carried into the church building was another clue. Talking to a woman with a couple of large scars on her face, we ascertained that a baptism was due to take place. Thus, taking our seats as far from the baptistry as possible, we sat down.

The Service began in the traditional manner. 'Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing' was sung, with which we joined heartily (I was tuneful, my escort wasn't). The Pastor was helped to the pulpit by two deacons, having been blinded a couple of weeks ago by a large black tomcat. He prayed for all present, including the very large number of cats present. The sermon included a large number of references to the belief that the Cat-Baptists were the only true church, as they were the only people who administer the right of baptism to cats. Then the cat, a small fluffy black thing, was led to the Baptistry. It was led through the preliminaries, and it was decided that the creature had a sufficient understanding of the faith. As the cat was led to the Baptistry it purred.

Then, as it was intoduced to the baptismal waters, the cat's mood changed. It spat and began to scratch the pastor's scarred face. The Pastor began to sing, presumably to dull the pain. That was when the cat clawed his tongue. The cat was dropped, and three deacons immered it three times, while the pastor silently repeated the baptismal lines, before passing out through loss of blood.

We decided to go somewhere else for the evening service.

When Green Meets Grey: Part Four

The thugs had no sense of aim, and managed first to hit the chapel, breaking several windows. Then they fired too low, causing ricochets. In this time, the Green Man and the girl in Grey dropped behind the comfortingly solid granite and marble of the graves. A few of these were chipped, but the two crime fighters remained uninjured.

"How do we get out?" the Girl in Grey hissed, as a stone chip flew past her head. "You don't have Merlin's matter transporter, do you?"

"That," the Green Man observed urbanely, "would be cheating." He removed an egg-shaped object from beneath his coat. "This, on the other hand..."

He threw the object. There was a very large explosion, and the shooting stopped. The Green Man and the girl in Grey rose cautiously from behind the gravestones. The armed thugs were scattered about like the broken dolls of popular cliche. But the leader stood a way off with a black briefcase.

"Carmarthenshire Council was smart!" he called out, "unlike you!"

So saying, the exotic figure stepped into a waiting helicopter and flew off.

"That," the girl in Grey observed, watching the man leave, "was some villain. I take it we follow him?"

No," The Green man smiled. "We find out who he is. And then we speak to someone at Carmarthenshire Council."

After some heavy torture involving several gallons of water and a cream horn, one of the surprised thugs was finally induced to talk. He revealed that all of them had been hired in a damp and dingy bar in Swansea. After more torture, he revealed that the bar had been called 'The Dolphin's Arms'. After the Girl in Grey observed (correctly) that Dolphins have no arms, the men were left tied up for the congregation to find on Sunday, or for the wildlife to eat (or for the congregation to eat, if the mood took them). And our two intrepid adventurers headed down the Towy valley to the town of Carmarthen, once the Royal Seat of English Power in Wales, and now a very human town. Their target: the Council buildings, sited within the walls of the ancient castle.

The Green Man's agent attempted to gain entry, only to be rebuffed, so the Green Man resolved that the building had to be burgled. This seemed to cheer everyone up, so they went for a meal in a restaurant a long way from anywhere at all.

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When Green Meets Grey: Part Three

The mist hung heavy about the remote Capel Nebo, as the Green Man and the girl in Grey approached. They had travelled in the Green Man's Rolls-Royce (which was painted green, of course), which was parked off the road, but travelled the last couple of miles on foot. As was only right, for otherwise the agents of the blackmailer might have heard the engine. They trod carefully, keeping an ear out for any sign of suspicious activity. With the weather the way it was, it was probable that they'd hear any trouble before seeing it.

"Well," the girl in Grey whispered, "the pay-off should arrive in about half an hour. What do we do till then?"
"We try to find the blackmailer or his agents," the Green Man replied softly. "If the blackmailer's on hand, we could end this now. But if he's only sent agents, we have to track them. Remember, we don't know exactly how this man's planning to kill everyone in Carmarthen."

"Man?" the girl in Grey smiled. "How can you be sure?" There are female super-villains, too, you know."

"But I'm a gentleman," the Green Man replied gallantly. "Ms. Madison has to knock out the girls."

"But now you've got me," the Girl in Grey laughed, "and I can do that, too."

"Of course," the Green man laughed softly. "Now, we need to be quiet, or someone might hear." By this time, they were close to the stone wall which encircled the chapel graveyard.

"Split up," the Green Man whispered. "Stay low, and use the gravestones for cover." He sprang over the wall. The Girl in Grey followed close behind.

While the Green Man went to the right, the Girl in Grey headed to the left, keeping low behind the gravestones. Some dull, others shining black marble, they spoke of the life and death of a tiny community. But the Girl in Grey did not have time to read the inscriptions, no matter how pious the sentiments expressed. She was too busy looking out for the people detailed to pick up the money. At last, she saw a figure who was clearly not the Green Man standing by the chapel walls. She stealthily made her way towards him, careful to keep low. Indeed, she was almsot upon him when she became aware of a presence behind her.

Turning, she saw three large men who looked decidedly unfriendly.

"Uh-oh," she sighed, "gorrilas in the mist."

"The lead man only smiled, as he drew a long-barrelled revolver from his coat.

"So, someone decided to take a hand..." he bared his teeth viciously. "Pharaoh doesn't like people who poke their noses into his business. "Especially not girls in grey." He cocked the gun.

And that was as far as he got. A blow from a cane in the hands of the Green Man sent the pistol flying across the graveyard. Before any of the men could react, a blow from the Green Man's fist had sent another of the men flying over a gravestone. He hit his head on a particularly unyielding piece of marble and did not rise.

A high-kick from the girl in Grey sent the third man stumbling back into a freshly dug grave. The two remaining men stood no chance. The man who had drawn the gun was thrown over the wall, while the man by the chapel, having entered the contest too late, found himself pinned to the wall of the chapel by the Green Man.

"And now," the Green Man told him soberly, "you're going to tell me anything I want to hear. Who are you working for?"

The man's eyes suddenly widened, as he looked beyond the Green Man and the girl in Grey.

"Him!" he pointed. There, on the barren hillside, stood a man in Bedouin dress. And around him, although at a distance, were twelve men, all armed with assault rifles.

"Kill them!" the figure declared imeriously.

Before either the Green Man or the Girl in Grey could react, the men opened fire.

When Green Meets Grey: Part Two

Before the Green Man drew his gun, the figure on the floor got unsteadily to her feet. Slight, and dressed in a form-fitting grey suit with cat's ears, whiskers and a tail, she was quite a sight.

"The girl in Grey, as I live and breathe." The Green Man rose slowly to his feet, smiling with amusement.

"Whoops," she laughed. "Wrong chapel. I was looking for..."

"A blackmailer," the Green Man smiled. "I know. I'm after him, too. How did you get to know?"

"I was rescuing Sir Richard Arcos from the pantry at Plas Llangarmon, and I happened to hear about it." She smiled sweetly. "Now, how come you got away so soon after our date?"

"Because someone needed killing," the Green Man explained. "And not because Ms. Madison was jealous, as you assumed."

"Well, that was less grim, wasn't it?" the Girl in Grey bubbled. "Say, do you have spare food?"

"For you, my dear Grey Girl," the Green Man drawled, "always. Do you drink?"

The Girl in Grey glared at him.

"We had wine on our date!" she bridled. "Or do I mean so little to you?"

"As I said, my dear," the Green Man sighed, "I had to kill someone right after our date. Yelling for mercy in the most selfish manner and blood tend to cloud the memory. Especially if the wine in question was red."

"I suppose so," the Girl in Grey shook her head, smiling. "But you must understand how I feel..."

"I'm afraid not," the Green Man chuckled. "After all, it's on my account that Ms. Madison keeps breaking her dates with her young man."

The Girl in Grey made a face.

"But right now, I'm glad she's in Bermuda with him." She spoke spiritedly, leaning on the former communion table, where the Green Man was eating. "Mind if I pull up a pew?"

"Try a seat," the Green Man replied. "The pews are fixed down. And while you eat, we can decide our strategy for tomorrow."

"Our strategy!" the Girl in Grey's eyes were big as saucers. "You mean I'm in on this?"

"You heard right," the Green Man chuckled. "Tomorrow, you and I will be taking an early morning trip. So you'd better get in some sleep once we've finished plotting. The old vestry's still cosy."

"What about you?" the girl in Grey looked concerned.

"Lecture hall," The Green Man explained. "Chicken wing?"

When Green Meets Grey: Part one

A long way from London, in a massive country house, surrounded by rolling parkland, lives the Green Man. The house holds no clues as to his true idenity, save for the top room in the tower, which is closed due to 'structural weaknesses'. In fact, this contains the Green Man's communications hub. With Ms. Madison sunning herself in Bermuda, the Green Man had to do his own 'phone answering. When the instrument rang, the Green Man snatched it up.

"This is the Green Man," he declared softly. "What's your number?"

"Seventy-nine, Carmarthen," came the reply. "A message was received at County Hall threatening the death of everyone in Carmarthen if a massive ransom isn't paid. The rendezvous point is a tiny Welsh Chapel graveyard above Myddfai." The speaker was male, possessed of a strong Welsh accent. "I got it out of one of the council staff who drinks a lot."

"Send me a full report," the Green Man spoke soberly. "Fax or e-mail. I need to know the location and the procedure. And I need to know this isn't a trap."

"As you say, Green Man," the Welsh farmer chuckled. "Remember to visit Llandudno for the Red Kites."

The Green Man smiled, assured by the repetition of this simple and common error that he was speaking to a man of integrity.

And so it was that, just under a day later, the Green Man arrived in the small town of Llangadog, one of the most stylish towns in the Towy Valley. Passing through the town, the Green Man was able to establish himself in a deserted chapel a little outside, ordering in a good meal from another of his contacts, a chef at a local hotel. With candles burning all around him, the Green Man settled down to a good meal. He kept on his mask, although removing the lower part so that he could eat.

It was while he was finishing his pudding that one of the two huge windows in the chapel facade exploded into thousands of tiny fragments.

Merlin's Revenge: Epilogue

"What I don't understand," Ms. Madison confessed, over a cocktail in the bar of the Priory Hotel, Caerleon, "is how you managed to turn up just in the nick of time."

Although she had changed back into an elegantly tailored suit, Ms. Madison's face was still cut and bruised. Indeed, the black eye she was sporting did rather spoil the girl's normally immacculate appearance.

"I'm only sorry I wasn't able to keep you from the beating Ygraine gave you," the Green Man sighed. "At the time, I was breaking into the laboratory through the back door. After that, I had to 'persuade' the Professor's Assistant, Bach, to re-programme the matter transmitter, first to dump the Professor's mercenaries in the Bristol Channel, and then to give me a sword when I needed it."

"Oh, I can forget the beating," Ms. Madison laughed. "Remember, I paid that little fury back in her own coin."

"How could I forget?" the Green Man chuckled. "You are a most accomplished girl, Ms. Madison. "I don't know what I'd do without you."

She did not reply at once. For a moment the air was filled with tension, as Ms. Madison looked down into her cocktail. The Green Man nodded soberly.

"Don't be afraid to tell me what's on your mind," he told her. "At worst, three others have gone before you. And all with my blessing."

"Thanks," Ms. Madison managed a tight little smile. "But I'm not leaving you permanently - at least not yet. Remember the message I got at reception when we walked in here?"

"Of course," the Green Man nodded, understanding, voice level and calming.

"It was from Mike - Mr Rake," Ms. Madison coloured becomingly. "He wants me to take a holiday with him to Bermuda. Oh," she shook her head, "I know we've been to Bermuda this year, but I'd really like a holiday where I could just lie on the beach in my swimsuit all day and dance the night away, rather than dodging bullets."

"If you want a holiday," the Green Man replied, "be my guest, Ms. Madison. And you show Michael Rake you are fond of him. Remember, no man can wait forever, no matter how pretty the girl."

"Thank you!" Ms. Madison rose from her seat and scampered upstairs.

By nine o'clock that evening, she was in the Savoy ballroom, dancing in the arms of Michael Rake. Her bags were packed, and all she could do was wonder just what the futue held for her. Not that Rake noticed. He was far too busy gazing into her eyes.

The Green Man Returns tomorrow in a brand-new adventure

When Green Meets Grey

Merlin's Revenge: Part Fourteen

The exotically dressed Professor Gawain laughed, as his battalions slowly faded from view. Ms. Madison could only watch helplessly. And the Green Man still stood a little way off, hands above his head, watching in silence. Ygraine glared at Ms. Madison, while the blonde found herself quite unable to smile.

"Now you shall see my triumph!" the Professor laughed, raising his hands to the sky. "Not even the Green Man was able to stop me!"

"In a moment," Ygraine told Ms. Madison sadistically, "you'll be dead."

"Will she?" the Green Man spoke again, and there was a note of amusement in his voice.

"You saw my legions depart!" the Professor shouted, a look of aprehension creeping into his voice. The Green Man laughed mockingly.

"Afraid?" the Green Man shook his head. "What can I do to the successor of King Arthur?"

"What have you done?" the Professor approached the calm figure of the Green Man face becoming redder than before. The Green Man only laughed.

"Not afraid, Professor?" The Green Man laughed, as a sword materialised in his raised right hand.

"No!" the Professor turned to Ms. Madison, drawing his sword. "Try anything, and the girl dies, Green Man!"

"So that's how the new kingdom of King Arthur begins," the Green Man shook his head. "With the death of a helpless girl?"

"I don't care!" the Professor laughed, "I shall be king! Even now, my legions are taking over Buckingham Palace!"

"Your legions," the Green Man replied mockingly, "are drowning in the Bristol Channel - if not already drowned. Their armour..."

"No!" the Professor turned from Ms. Madison, raising his mighty sword. The Green Man easily parried the blow. Moving forward to engage the would-be monarch, the Green Man laughed.

"Ready?" The Green Man laughed, moving fluidly under the raised sword of the desperate Professor.

At the same time, Ms. Madison broke free of her captors. Finding Ygraine distracted by the sword-fight, she struck the brunette on the jaw, sending her reeling. A high-kick knocked out one of the guards, while a foot in the stomach winded the other. Now it was only Ygraine. And that was a grudge match.

The Green Man cut a hole in Professor Gawain's cloak. The next blow almost connected, drawing sparks from the Professor's sword. The Green Man laughed, knowing that the end was close.

"How did you do it?" the Professor demanded.

"While you were busy with my poor Secretary," the Green man laughed, "I was altering the settings on you matter transporter so that it landed your men in the Bristol Channel. You see, when your dear daughter volunteered to join Ms. Madison and I, she did so swiftly and with very few qualms. It was all just too convenient."

Before the wicked man could say anything more, the Green Man's sword severed his right arm. The Professor fell to his knees before the Green Man, hands clasped in pleading, eyes wide.

"You have killed enough" the Green Man severed the Professor's head from his body. The headless corpse crumpled to the ground.

Ms. Madison was stood next to the unconscious form of Ygraine, smiling with definite satisfaction.

"That," she grinned, wiping blood from her mouth, "was well worth it."

The Green Man was just able to get to Ms. Madison in time to catch her as she passed out cold.

Coming Attractions

They will criss-cross the globe, from the misty mountains of Wales to the burning deserts of North Africa, in an adveture so great that neither could handle it alone.

The Green Man, the doom of evildoers and the terror of the wicked...

Joins forces with

The Girl in Grey, the world's cutest crime fighter...

To do battle with the forces of darkness...

It started with a call to a deserted chapel in Wales, a frightened lady worried for her husband. But it did not end there...

When Green Meets Grey

Going where the trail leads them, the Green Man and the Girl in Grey cross continents, from the steaming jungles of the Amazon to the glaciers of Greenland, in search of the master-criminal known as...

The Pharaoh!

His wicked plan: To turn all modern household conveniences into killer robots, subservient to his imperious will.

Between him and world domination, only two intrepid crime fighters, pledged to preserve and uphold the law. On his side, an army of mercenaries, household electrical equipment and electronic zombies. Can the Green man and the Girl in Grey prevent his evil plan, or must the world prepare for this villain's tyranny?

Find out in:

When Green Meets Grey!

Merlin's Revenge: Part Thirteen

Ms. Madison came to on the floor of a barren cell. Her ruined suit had been removed and replaced by a faded tee-shirt and jeans. She felt more pain at that than from her bruises. Groaning, she rolled onto her back, the room turning circles around her. She felt very, very ill.

"Awake, blondie?" she heard the mocking voice of Ygraine, close at hand.

"I think so," the blonde sighed, "but I'm reserving judgement 'til I see a mirror."

"You do that, blondie," Ygraine laughed. "Right now, you're a real mess - but that's not permanent. Not that it matters..."

"'Cause I'm going to die?" Ms. Madison managed a weak smile. "This time, I'm not going to argue."

By this time, Ms. Madison felt well enough to sit up. Her suspicion that she was wearing Ygraine's clothes were confirmed. Ygraine now wore emboidered robes, her har done in the old Roman style. She laughed again, looking the battered blonde in the eye.

"Right now you're coming with me, blonde girl," the brunette gestured imperiously to the two guards in the door.

Ms. Madison was picked up bodily and carried out of the building. There, in the square before the laboratories, company on company of Roman soldiers were formed up. In front of them, Professor Gawain was busily ranting at the men, promising them great wealth once he was king of England.

"You'll never get away with this," Ms. Madison declared spiritedly.

"You're wrong!" Professor Gawain yelled, turning purple. "I've raided the Caerwent depot, I've captured the Green Man's agent! Nothing can stop me!"

"Nothing, Professor?" the voice seemed to come out of no-where. A smile broke out on Ms. Madison's battered face, as she recognised the tones of the Green Man.

"Nothing!" the Professor cried. "If you even try to stop me, Green Man, then your lovely assistant dies!" At a gesture from the Professor, one of the men holding Ms. Madison drew his short sword.

"He wants to make himself king!" Ms. Madison called back. "My life isn't important!" She felt the dagger prick her throat.

The Green Man stepped from the woods, his hands held high. With a sinking feeling in her heart, Ms. Madison realised that they had failed. At that moment, 'Merlin' stepped onto the square. Ms. Madison heard the matter-transmitter power up. In a few short moments, Professor Gawain would be master of Britain.

Don't miss the thrilling conclusion of Merlin's Revenge!

Merlin's Revenge: Part Twelve

Ms. Madison smiled gently at the scene. Although the great library was becoming decidedly crowded, the gentlemen in question would be no match for the guards at Buckingham Palace.

"What are you thinking, blondie?" Ygraine glared at the neat blonde.

"That your father must be mad," Ms. Madison replied easily.

"You mean the soldiers are armed with swords and shields?" Ygraine grinned wickedly. "I suppose you think my father hasn't considered that?" She shook her head pityingly. "What you probably don't know is that there's a Ministry of Defence Depot at Caerwent, just a few miles away. My fathers men plan to materialise in, overpower the guards and steal a large amount of equipment. Then when we appear at Buckingham Palace, the men will be well armed. Besides, 'Merlin' is going to dematerialise the queen and her guards." She laughed.

"And you're going to watch the Caerwent job," Professor Gawain explained. "Right now, you're our hostage. If the Green Man knows we have you..."

Ms. Madison shook her head, still smiling. Moments later, Ygraine struck her on the jaw. The blonde's head jerked bak, blonde hair flying about her face. Before she could react, the girl had driven a small fist into Ms. Madison's tummy. The blonde folded up with a sigh. The girl brought up a knee into Ms. Madison's face. The Green Man's assistant tasted blood in her mouth. Pushed to the floor, she was kicked a couple of times. Her suit was split, and her face left bruised and bloodied.

As she lay on the floor, Ms. Madison saw the soldiers vanish, company by company. She assumed that there were enugh men to raise the Caerwent depot. After a few moments, one company re-appeared, bearing firearms. And rocket-launchers.

Ygraine kicked the blonde again, hard enough to draw a yelp of agony from her. A second kick sent the girl sprawling forward onto the ground. Her blood stained the carpet, and Ms. Madison groaned. Her chin was raised on one of Ygraine's battered trainers.

"Not so smart now, hey, blondie?" the girl shook her head. grinning down at the battered form of Ms. Madison. The blonde saw murder in the brunette's eyes.

"Yes," the girl's grin widened sadistically. "You're going to die, blondie. Once my father's seated on the British throne."

"At least I'll live long time," Ms. Madison smiled weakly.

The next time Ms. Madison got kicked, she lost consciousness.

Merlin's Revenge: Part Eleven

Professor Gawain wore a scarlet tunic and shoes. A golden diadem encircled his brow, and he wore a sword by his side. Ms. Madison just looked at the exotic figure, her eyes bulging.

"But... but," she stammered, "I saw you killed!"

"You saw someone killed," the Professor replied, smiling.

"And your daughter handled the identification," the blonde sighed.

"You got it, blondie," Ygraine smiled. "Professor Gawain is definitely dead. In fact, we switched my father for a prepared corpse using the matter-transmitter."

"Clever," Ms. Madison nodded, pretending to be impressed. "And I guess 'Merlin' was created using the same technology."

"Merlin is bach," the Professor explained. "Now, why don't we go somewhere more confortable?

"I'm not stopping you," Ms. Madison smiled.

"Shut up, blondie," Ygraine pushed her gun into Ms. Madison's tummy.

"You got bullied by pretty blondes as well, didn't you?" Ms. Madison cracked. She got walloped for her pains, and pushed into the room beyond.

A huge octagonal library, with a Roman statue in the middle, lay beyond. Ms. Madison sprawled onto the floor, hitting the unyielding marble with enough force to wind her. Looking over at the blonde, the villains smiled.

"Tomorrow," Professor Gawain declared, "I shall be king of England - King Arthur returned. I shall appear on the balcony of Buckingham Palace at the changing of the guard."

"And the Government will let you?" Ms. Madison laughed mockingly. "Do you really think so?"

"When the guard is changed for my guard," Gawain laughed, "they will have no choice. See, my guards!"

The doors opened, and a mass of large thugs in Roman armour trooped in. Again Professor Gawain began to laugh insanely, as more and more men began to march into the hall. Men dressed as Roman soldiers and later warriors continued to pour into the library.

"Nothing in the world can stop me now!" the Professor laughed.

Merlin's Revenge: Part Ten

"You know," Ygraine observed to Ms. Madison, as one of the security men led them towards the entrance to Carleon Research's Laboratories. "That last extract was really boring."

"I thought so, too," the blonde nodded, "but there had to be some sort of explanation and exposition at some point. Still, I think that's enough of that. Shall we go see the mad scientists?"

"My dear child," a grey-haired man stepped from the shadows with a suddenness that caused Ms. Madison to jump, "contrary to popular belief, most scientists are not shock-headed men in grubby white lab-coats." He leered at the well-dressed blonde.

"No," Ms. Madison nodded sagely. "Some of them are strange creepy men who leer at girls young enough to be their grand-daughters." She thrust out a hand. "Ms. Madison."

"Dr. John Stack," the man took Ms. Madison's gloved hand. It came off in his grip, leaving the two girls laughing. The scientist did not look best impressed.

"Very funny," he sighed. "Now, perhaps I can shatter your fondly-held illusions. I'll show you the matter-transmitter..." He led the two girls down a long, brightly-lit corridor, and through a big door at the end. They could hear the hum of a vast engine.

"It all sounds very complicated," Ms. Madison observed, smiling.

"Yes." The scientist replied with the vehemence of a man who had been scorned by all the pretty girls in school, and recognised in Ms. Madison one of his teen-aged tormentors grown up. "Now you will see what real science looks like." He led them into the room at the end of the corridor.

A vast spark generator was set in a pit, sending off random spurts of electricity. At once, Ms. Madison's hair began to stand on end.

And there, running round the machine and chuckling to himself, was a man with spectacles and a moustache.

"It works!" he cried with unconcealed glee. "It works! Full power, bach!"

His assistant, a harrassed-looking young man in a grubby lab coat, raised a lever on the machine, while the man by the machine continued to make adjustments.

Ms. Madison had to admit that Dr. Stack had a point. This man was bald and wore overalls.

"What is it?" he turned to the vistors, eyes burning.

"Two people want to see your matter transmitter, Professor Morgan," Stack explained.

"It looks very impressive," Ms. Madison approached cautiously. "Can it really transmit a person through space?"

"It will transmit a man who everyone thinks is dead to the balcony of Buckingham Palace," Dr Stack replied. "There to rule as Arthur, the once and future King."

Ms. Madison started violently. The three men began to laugh. Turning to Ygraine, the blonde found a revolver pointed at her tummy.

"Oh no," the brunette shook her head. "You're going no-where, girlie. No-where at all."

At that moment, Professor Gawain entered the room, also laughing.

Merlin's Revenge: Part Nine

Ms. Madison and Ygraine surveyed the ancient amphitheatre through the light drizzle. Dressed in a well-cut woolen overcoat that bushed her trim ankles, Ms. Madison stood with her hands in her pockets, just coutside one of the entances. Ygraine, by way of contrast, wore a black tee-shirt with a celtic motif, ripped jeans and trainers, a plastic mac worn open over it.

"Is this King Arthur's Round Table?" the blonde turned to the brunette.

"Some people think it was," Ygraine smiled. "You know, you're a strange girl. So well-dressed, you must have loads of experience, but you can be just like a tourist at times..."

"When it comes to Roman remains," the blonde confessed, "I am. But it's not Roman remains we're here to see. We're meeting the director of the Carleon Research Institute in a local pub after this. He might know who this 'Merlin' character is."

"Or he might be Merlin," Ygraine declared worryingly.

"Might be," Ms. Madison confessed. "But I guess that's a chance we have to take. Remember, the Carleon Research Institute is developing a process for transporting a person from one place to another. And Merlin vanishes without trace."

"So does your friend in green," Ygraine observed acidly.

Paid in Full: Part Two

Robert Conyers stood outside the shaggy, moss-covered ruin that was Castle Green House, Cardigan, in the deserted space within the walls of Cardigan Castle. He trembled, wondering just exactly what was going on.

Before he could turn to go, a throaty laugh began to echo round the deserted walls. Conyers turned grey, his courage ebbing away.

"Robert Conyers," the voice declared. "Five years ago, you were responsible for the death of a man whose only crime was that he handled the account of a company that experimented on animals. He was killed because he had a slight connection to the death and suffering of animals.

"You have a direct connection to the deaths of two people. Other people paid for those crimes, while you were able to get away with murder."

"You can't..." the man trembled, starting towards the castle gate.

"I haven't." The Green Man replied grimly. "You judged yourself five years ago."

As the terrified man ran to the gate, something heavy made contact with the back of his head. Darkness claimed him.

The next day, the body of Robert Conyers was found hanging from a tree inside the overgrown castle grounds. The general verdict was suicide. 'Remorse at having caused the deat of two people' the Press speculated. But the Green Man knows differently.

Paid in full

Decaying Castle Green House, Cardigan, is now in the process of being rescued by the local community. Left to slide into dereliction for many years, the regency villa inside the castle walls has long been overgrown. The Green is an overgrown wilderness, while trees have become almost jungle-like in their growth. High up on one of the trees, sharp eyes can still detect a few strands of frayed rope, all that remains of the strange fate of Robert Conyers. An animal rights activist, Conyers planned an attack on an investment banker who handled the account of a major research laboratory. The attack left the man dead, while his wife committed suicide a few months later, after receving constant hate-mail.

Conyers forgot about the incident and he prospered. Five years later, the man, by now a successful film producer, was called to Cardigan Castle by a starley with whom he was having an affair, in a letter on paper headed, 'Castle Green House Hotel,' bearing an engraving of the house. He was able to book a room, calling a Ceredigion number. When he arrived, however, he found a deserted, shaggy ruin. Looking around, he felt a stab of fear...

Merlin's Revenge: Part Eight

In the confined space of the crypt, the gunshot was almost deafening. The heavy bullet knocked the javelin aside, and it fell harmlessly to the ground. 'Merlin' cursed.

"No-one," the Green Man leapt down into the crypt, gun in hand, "tries to spear my secretary. Now, perhaps we can talk, Merlin?"

The armoured man rushed the Green Man. A couple of heavy blows from the Green Man's free hand sent him reeling. Merlin cursed some more.

"Perhaps we can talk like civilised human beings now." The Green Man chuckled, moving forward.

The robed figure began to fade from view, laughing. The Green Man only shook his head, as the armoured man began to fade as well. However, only the armoured man's head and arms vanished. His trunk fell, useless, to the ground. Ygraine turned to the wall with a sob of disgust.

"I know," Ms. Madison commiserated. "It can get a bit yucky."

"Ready to cut and run?" the Green Man asked the brunette.

"No," the girl was very firm. "That man, whoever he was, killed my father. I want to see him suffer for it."

"In that case," the Green Man spoke approvingly," you will accompany Ms. Madison to Caerleon in Monmouthshire."

"Tomorrow," Ms. Madison yawned. "I'm exhausted - I always get tired after being almost killed. What is it?"

"The Caerleon Research Laboratories," the Green Man explained. "One of my agents reports that they are working on a device to dematerialise human beings. And Caerleon is connected with King Arthur."

Merlin's Revenge: Part Seven

The two girls approached the ruins of Glastonbury Abbey, across a rollong greensward. While Ms. Madison made to head for the imposing remains of the crossing, Ygraine pulled on the blonde's arm, however, directing Ms. Madison to the still largely intact building at the West end of the Abbey church.

"The Lady Chapel," Ygraine explained.

"Weren't they normally at the other end?" Ms. Madison enquired earnestly.

"Sure," Ygraine nodded. "But a few were at the West. There's a surviving Lady Chapel at Durham, for example. They're called 'Galilee Chapels,' becuase they come before the holier place, like Galilee came before Jerusalem in the life of Jesus."

"I see," Ms. Madison nodded. "But why are we going there?"

"Because the chapel was built on the site of the old wicker church that was built by some of the earliest British Christians," Ugraine explained. "According to tradition, the church was built by Joseph of Arimathea. Certainly, the Church existed at the time of King Arthur. Some say King Arthur was buried here."

"But not our Merlin," Ms. Madison smiled gently, as they descended to the crypt below the Lady Chapel. While Ms. Madison's heels slid a little on the steps, the brunette's trainers remained firm.

"You dress well, don't you?" Ygraine took hold of Ms. Madison's arm.

"Always," the blonde confessed. "I get..."

Ms. Madison's voice trailed off as they entered the crypt. There stood an old man in long robes, with a long white beard. And, by his side, a man in armour, with a helmet that hid his face. He carried a javelin, which he slowly raised, pointing it at Ms. Madison. Lifting her hands to her red mouth, Ms. Madison screamed, as the javelin was thrown...

Merlin's Revenge: Part Six

Ygraine clung to Ms. Madison, trembling, as someone leapt from the platform to assist her impaled father. Checking the old man's pulse, he looked up and shook his head grimly. With a convulsive sob, Ygraine buried her face in the blonde's breast.

Ms. Madison patted her gently on the back, whispering words of comfort in her ear.

"We'll find this person, whoever he was," she told the brunette. "And then..."

"Make them suffer," Ygraine sniffed, eyes suddenly hard. "I want to see them die like my father - only more slowly and painfully."

"The Green Man can arrange that," Ms. Madison assured the distraught Miss Gawain. This drew a smile from the brunette.

"Great," the blonde laughed softly, "now, shall we get started?"

Ygraine nodded soberly, face set.

"And if it is Merlin?" a thought suddenly occured to her.

"Then I'll use my feminine charms to get the secret of how to trap him," Ms. Madison declared bravely.

Merlin's Revenge: Part Five

The next morning saw Ms. Madison waiting at the station, one little foot tapping on the platform as the train pulled into the station, creaking mightily. The doors opened with noises that indicated they needed oiling. Amid the outlandishly dressed people who got off the train, sticking out a mile, was an elderly man in tweeds. Ms. Madison approached him swiftly, thrusting out a welcoming hand. She had not got to him, however, when he was embraced by a scantily-clad brunette, with whom he went off. Ms. Madison blushed fiercely.

"Looking for Professor Gawain?" A perky female voice addressed the blonde secretary.

Turning, Ms. Madison saw a youngish brunette in shorts and a tee-shirt. She carried a briefcase and had a healthy tan.

"Yes," Ms. Madison coloured. "I guess you're Professor Gawain."

"Nope," the girl laughed, "Professor Gawain was the man in tweeds. I'm Ygraine, his daughter. And that was his seventh wife."

Ms. Madison laughed, shaking her head.

"I take it you know why your father was called for," she addressed the girl in the tee-shirt.

"Sure," she shook her head. "Shall we take a look at the abbey ruins where the stuff happened?"

"Okay," Ms. Madison shook her head, "then we have to have lunch in some nice pub where new-age types don't go."

"We can avoid my father, too," Ygraine smiled gently. "Do we walk or take a taxi?"

"I can still walk," Ms. Madison grinned.

Before the girls could go any further, the air was split by a terrifying scream. Professor Gawain staggered off the platform, a javelin sticking out of his chest. Running to where he stood, the girls were just in time to see an armoured figure fade from view. Then, louder than the station announcements, came a booming voice:

"Arthur Will Return!"

A tale from the files of the Green Man

Ruperra Castle, once the palatial home of the heir of the Lorsdship of Tredegar, now a gutted shell. Jameson Craig, gutter journalist, received a call to this gaunt ruin some years ago. He had been promised a story that would ruin a prominent politican. Stopping outside the south gate, the journalist hurried up the pitted drive. He almost twisted his ankle on the rutted drive several times. At last, however, he made his way down, past derelict stables and servants' quarters, to the grey walls of the castle.

Lighting a cigarette, he waited for his anonymous source. At last, he heard the creak of a door in the deserted servants' quarters. Finding a door left open, he stepped inside, his feet tapping on the bare, rotting boards. And footprints in the dust of the floor. Jameson followed them earnestly, until he came to a brick wall. He turned pale, seeing that the footprints passed beneath the wall. Behind him, someone laughed, deep and threatening.

"Worried, Mr. Craig?" A deep, sinister voice echoed through the empty buildings. "I thought you were fearless in the cause of truth? Or is that only when you're safe in your office?"

"Look!" the quaking journalist shouted, "I don't know who you are, but I came here to meet a source!"

"That will ruin a good man, I know." The voice declared, relish creeping into it. "I am the Green Man, and I know far more than you can possibly know. It was I who had that girl call you, I who planted those rumours about the politician in circles where I knew you would hear of them. You and only you."

"But... but why...?" the journalist shook, his pudgy jowls wobbling.

"Thalia Jones," the Green Man declared solemnly. "A young actress who made a single mistake. One mistake, and you splashed it all over the papers. You caused her to despair. She shut herself in a garage and turned on her car engine. You won an award for that story and a salary increase. Yet, when that girl's distraught parents came to you, asking for a little money to give their only child a proper funeral, you laughed in their faces and told them she should be buried in a sack like any alley-cat."

"The girl had sex with a guy in the Hilton Hotel, London," the journalist shot back. "There was another girl involved. The guy was married."

"And so is the young woman you used and discarded two years ago." The voice silenced the journalist butally. "You destroy lives for a living," the Green Man declared, "and you destroy them for your recreation. You will not do so again."

"You can't kill me!" the journalist yelled, "you..." As he turned to the door, it slammed shut.

"And now," the Green Man laughed. "You will meet your reward."

The journalist watched, horrified, as white smoke began to seep through the floor. He tasted the bitter taste of exhaust fumes.

"Yes," the Green Man laughed. "Exhaust fumes. You will die as Thalia Jones died. And your body will never be found..."

An archaeological dig did find the remains of the corrupt journalist. They are today exhibited in a museum as those of a ninth century monk.

There is no escape from the vengeance of the Green Man.

Merlin's Revenge: Part Four

Ms. Madison stopped on Glastonbay High Street and looked around her at the crowds who thronged the streets of King Arthur's Avalon. She felt decidedly out of place in her tailored suit, hat and heels. Most of the young women were untidy, wearing faded black tee-shirts, tattered blue jeans and trainers. Still, she reflected, the Green Man would look still more unusual.

She made her way to the Abbey gates, heels tapping an urgent beat on the pavement. The birds were singing, and the skies were blue. She would have whistled, if the situation hadn't been so serious. Some joker dressed as Merlin turning up impaling people...

She descended into the crypt of the Abbey's Lady Chapel, looking about her in wonder at the beautiful architecture.

"Well, Ms. Madison," the Green Man stepped out of the shadows. "Have you been here before?"

"I don't go in for old buildings," the beautiful blonde confessed. "Of course Mike - Mr Rake - would like me to take more of an interest in churches, or at least one church for long enough to get a plain gold ring and sign my name, but I keep explaining I'm not ready yet..."

"Be careful, my dear," the Green Man spoke softly. "No man waits for a woman forever, no matter how much he loves her."

"Yes," the girl nodded soberly. "Now, Merlin..."

"I checked the Abbey grounds before it opened," he explained. "There's no trace of any equipment that might have caused the disappearance. The office where the curator was murdered was locked from the inside - the key was left in the lock. And men do not kill themselves with javelins..."

Ms. Madison nodded.

"That would be silly," she agreed. "So the real question is, what actually happened on both occasions?"

"That is a good question." The Green Man nodded. "But the best question is: 'what does this man mean to do?'"

"And why the stuff about 'Arthur will return?'" Ms. Madison widened her eyes. "I know the legend that says he will return, but what would a villain have to do with it?"

"That's why we have to know more." The Green Man nodded. "We must draw the wicked out. Get them to act. That's why one of the greatest living authorities on King Arthur is arriving in town this evening."