Sir Richard Arcos here again... Last Sunday saw my visit to St. Horace's, Much Wailing in the Bath, Salop, at the request of some relative or other. I think it was a niece, but it might have been a granddaughter. Anyway, female and related to me in some manner.
The service was what passes for 'traditional' in some circles of the Anglican Church. That is to say, we were presented with hymnbooks at the entrance, and sat down at the front. After which we were told not to sit on the altar rail, so sat down somewhere else.
The congregation, which consisted of several elderly to middle aged people, proceeded to rise on the entry of the (female) vicar, and choir. The latter consisted of three men, two women, and a cat, who appeared to be in charge. The organist played a couple of wrong notes, apologised, and hummed the tune instead.
At the greeting, we were all asked to share a sign of peace. I stuck my tongue out at the woman opposite me, a traditional Nepali greeting, and she ran away. The lass with me made a 'V' sign and muttered 'peace, man...' to the chap opposite her, who just looked confused. Some chap then grabbed her and kissed her. His wife laid him out with a straight left to the jaw, before berating the lass for leading him astray. I had to separate the pair before something happened. I'm sure the couple in front of us were up to something. Well, until someone in the choir threw the cat at them.